


Small and Needy

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental wetting, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Castiel, Castiel/Dean Winchester Cuddles, Character Development, Clothed Wetting, Comforting Dean, Crying Castiel, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Asexual Castiel, Lies, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mentions of Mafia Ties, Omorashi, Purposed Wetting, Wetting, lying, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel, desperate to feel wanted and loved, lies about having a medical disorder that caused his organs to be underdeveloped. And one pesky side-effect - near incontinence. As Dean and Cas's relationship goes on, Cas continues wetting himself and making Dean comfort him and console him, but soon his conscience starts weighing on him and he questions the morality of his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small and Needy

**Author's Note:**

> Just a total note for those of you who don't know - I actually have a [blog](http://dean-wetting-his-panties.tumblr.com/) that partners with these fics and I take requests there, and also post the occasional artwork. So if omorashi, pee kink, watersports, and stuff of the like is your jam, have an assload of it for Supernatural.

Cas was a slut. Specifically for anything romantic. He liked sex when he had it, but he didn’t really want to have it often. But Dean was patient. And didn’t mind going long period without any sex. But Cas loved to hold hands, and kiss, and cuddle - even naked, he didn’t mind, shower together, but while he knew it was a shitty thing to do, sometimes he’d put himself in compromising situations just so Dean would coddle him. Every time he told someone, they all immediately frowned upon him for taking advantage of someone who actually loved him. But that was often why Cas did it - to make sure Dean still loved him. 

 

Cas’s surefire way of getting Dean to feel bad, was only tell one lie. One tiny little lie. Or not. He told Dean he had deformities and underdeveloped organs and because of that, he had a really hard time controlling his bladder if he had to use the bathroom. And of course Dean believed him - especially when Cas started having to prove himself. 

 

The first time it happened, they were at the movie theater - Cas had wanted to see some cheesy kids movie that came out. It was their first time at the movies together - almost like their first movie date. The theater was rather slow that day - precisely planned so Cas wasn’t as judged as he would be on a Saturday night or something. He told Dean he needed to use the bathroom, but Dean shushed him and told him that the movie was almost over. Cas kept squirming in his seat uncomfortably - at least doing a good job at faking it. Dean was too absorbed in the movie to notice. 

 

Finally, the movie started coming to an end, but there was still time left. But the guy had just gotten the girl and kissed her. So Dean reached over and began kissing Cas. 

 

“You’re my prince Charming.” He whispered, pulling away. 

 

Cas smiled and laughed, pressing a quick kiss back. 

 

“Did you spill your drink?” Dean asked, hearing dripping on the floor. 

 

“No.” Cas whimpered. “I might have wet myself.” 

 

“Cas.” Dean sighed. “You should have just gone to the bathroom if it was that bad.” 

 

“I didn’t want to disrupt you.” Cas said. 

 

“Here, you can put my coat on your waist.” Dean offered, standing up and quickly pulling his coat off. Thank God they took the back row. 

 

Cas nodded and affectionately rubbed the side of his face. “Thanks. I’m sorry.” 

 

“It’s fine. Do you want to leave now?” Dean asked. 

 

“No. Finish the movie. At least make my humiliation worth it.” Cas laughed sourly. 

 

“You’ll live.” Dean replied. 

 

“I’m used to it by now.” Cas sighed. 

 

“You know what, let’s just leave now. I’ll just feel guilty letting you sit here in your own pee for the next 10 minutes. Besides, Sam will spoil it for me later anyways.” Dean mused. 

 

“Are you sure?” Cas frowned. 

 

“Yes.” Dean stated, standing up and adjusting his shirt a bit. Cas stood as well and tied the jacket around his waist. 

 

“Fat load of good this does.” He snorted, looking down in the dark at how there was still wet going all down his legs. 

 

“Better than nothing.” Dean shrugged, brushing his thumb on the back of Cas’s hand. “Okay now make hay.”

 

“What wh- oh you mean to hurry.” Cas muttered. 

 

“You’re adorable.” Dean chuckled. 

 

He lead Cas out of the theater, holding his hand the entire way. Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder, looking down at his feet as Dean rushed to the exit doors. 

 

Once at the car, Dean laid an old blanket down from the trunk so Cas could sit on it. They drove back to Dean’s place in a comfortable silence, Cas still holding onto Dean’s hand as he drove. 

 

Upon arriving home, Dean had Cas go into the bathroom and undress, getting the shower ready. Dean searched for some clothes he’d outgrown to let Cas wear until his were washed and dried. Dean could sense that Cas was going to be staying the night. Which he honestly didn’t have a problem with. He set the clothes on the counter of the sink and looked up. Cas was standing there naked - something Dean hadn’t seen before. Dean lips parted as he looked at him, trying to keep his gaze at the eyes. But it was hard to, because Cas wore all these thick clothes and Dean had no clue that _this_ was underneath all those layers. Because Cas was fit, and toned, and really tan. And had really great thighs. And arms. And Dean was totally staring, wasn’t he. 

 

“Join me.” Cas said quietly. 

 

“Cas I…” Dean began, exhaling awkwardly. 

 

“Join me.” Cas repeated a little louder and firmer, walking towards Dean and pressing their foreheads together. “Please.” 

 

“Alright.” Dean answered, letting Cas begin taking his shirt off. “Wouldn’t you rather do this in bed?” 

 

“Wait you think I want to have sex?” Cas scoffed. “Dean I just pissed myself.” 

 

“Well you get naked in front of me and then me to get in the shower with you. Sorry if I don’t really know what to think.” 

 

Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled him in the direction of the shower. “Because I like you. Because I true you. Because I wonder what it’s like.” 

 

“What? Showering with someone?” asked. 

 

“Yeah I never have. I’m normally kind of scared to ask.” Cas breathed. 

 

“Why because you’re saying ‘lets get naked but not have sex?’?” Dean replied, taking off his shirt. 

 

Cas nodded. 

 

“Well, I think I can manage that.” Dean chuckled, pushing his pants down to his ankles, and then his boxers as well. 

 

Cas took both his hands and stepped back into the shower, pulling Dean in with him. One Dean was in, Cas hugged him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you.” 

 

Dean pulled his face away smiling at him. “Feel free to adjust the water by the way.” 

 

“I already did.” Cas stated, letting go of him. 

 

“Wait you like this temperature?” Dean asked. 

 

“Well, yeah.” Cas answered. 

 

“You are the first person I’ve dated who likes the same shower temperature as I do.” Dean grinned. “Remind me of that if I ever get pissed at you.” 

 

“I’ll take note.” Cas giggled. “But please don’t get pissed at me.” 

 

“I’m sure I won’t.” Dean said, ruffling Cas’s wet hair. “God you need to clean this mop.” 

 

“It’s not a mop.” Cas frowned. 

 

“And that’s just what someone with a mop on their head would say.” Dean teased. 

* * *

The next time Cas did it, he’d been having an especially bad day and just wanted to curl up and die. But Dean would make him feel better. Dean always did. But Cas really didn’t want to burden Dean with his problems. Also he really didn’t want to have to explain that his family was part of the mafia and all his problems related to that. At least he didn’t want to explain now. Dean didn’t even love him. It’d be too risky. 

 

“You’re not leaving this early are you?” Dean asked as Cas reached for his coat off the couch cushion. 

 

“I mean it’s going to storm out soon and it’s a long drive home - especially since I have to go to the store and…I have to get going.” Cas sighed. Nothing had really happened. He’d missed the one opportunity he had. So much for comfort that night. “I don’t want to leave though.” 

 

“I don’t want you to.” Dean frowned. “Stay.” 

 

“I can’t.” Cas groaned. “I have things I need to do. Like put the sandbags in front of my door - the rain always gets in.” 

 

“Call your neighbor.” Dean said. 

 

“Dean.” Cas cringed. “Stop it. You make me wanna stay.” 

 

“Good.” Dean chuckled, reaching up and rubbing Cas’s cheek with his hand. “Because, to be honest, I _really_ don’t want you to go.”

 

“Well I really don’t either.” Cas grumbled, rubbing his face against the palm of Dean’s hand. 

 

“What do you even have to do that’s so important?” Dean sighed. 

 

“Work stuff.” Cas stated. But that was a blatant lie. His parents _knew_ he wanted nothing to do with what they did, but they still insisted he deliver this package to someone’s doorstep tomorrow morning. He didn’t want to know what was in it, but it smelled foul and was probably stinking up his car. 

 

“So? It can wait.” Dean breathed, grabbing Cas and kissing him. “Right?” 

 

Cas groaned, knowing that there was no way he was going to leave now that Dean was starting to kiss him. 

 

Dean’s hands slid up Cas’s arms as he kissed him. “Do you want to go get in bed?” 

 

“I don’t have time to sit and cuddle with you.” Cas whimpered, hands holding Dean’s face. 

 

“Yes you do.” Dean prodded, dragging his lips around Cas’s neck. “Come get in bed with me, Cas.”

 

“I want to.” Cas sighed. 

 

“Then do. But don’t call it cuddling.” Dean smiled. 

 

“That’s what it is.” Cas breathed. 

 

“No it’s endless foreplay.” Dean stated. 

 

“Foreplay implies it comes before sex. Which it doesn’t. It just… _is_.” Cas said. 

 

“You are impossible.” Dean laughed. 

 

“Dean…” Cas huffed. “I really have to go.” 

 

“Don’t.” Dean pleaded, Cas pulling away. 

 

“I have to.” Cas frowned. “But I really don’t want to.” 

 

“Cas I don’t think you should.” Dean groaned, spinning Cas around and pointing at the water seeping in under the door. “I’ll get the sandbags.”

 

“I take it I’m staying here then.” Cas sighed, jumping as lightning cracked nearby. 

 

“Yeah, I’m not letting you drive in this weather. Tying you to a chair if I have to.” Dean stated. 

 

“Kinky. But not necessary.” Cas huffed. “I hate driving in the rain. And lightning scares the shit out of me.” 

 

“Good.” Dean grinned. 

 

“Can I just get something out of my car and bring it in? I’m supposed to keep it cold or frozen.” Cas asked. 

 

“Course. Just don’t run off.” Dean chuckled. 

 

“Here’s my phone for collateral. Make a humiliating Facebook post if I drive off.” Cas said, placing his phone in Dean’s hand. 

 

“Mean time, I’ll sandbag the back door.” Dean mused, opening the door for Cas and then quickly shutting it once he was out. 

 

Cas gagged as he opened his car door and was hit with the stench of the package. He slowly picked it up and began carrying it under his arm back into the house. He entered and shut the door behind him, walking over to the freezer. He opened it and placed it on an empty shelf. 

 

“What’s that?” Dean asked. 

 

“Oh…Just some food. Snacks. For…a friend.” Cas lied. 

 

“Ooh I want some!” Dean exclaimed, trying to get the package. 

 

“It’s horrible. Like some really crappy, old shit with freezer burn. We don’t like that friend very much.” Cas laughed awkwardly. “Besides, hands off anyways. It probably tastes even shittier now that it’s been out in my car.” 

 

“I’ll take your word on it.” Dean said, starting to close the freezer door. “What’s in it anyways? I think you sprung a leak there.” 

 

Cas looked at the dark red that was dripping from the corner of the box. “Oh I think it’s ice cream or sorbet or something. Some popsicles. Here. I’ll get a towel.” 

 

Cas wadded some paper towels and put them underneath the leaky corner. “All good.” 

 

“So now we get in bed and totally don’t cuddle, right?” Dean smiled. 

 

“Right.” Cas nodded firmly. “Just lemme wash my hands first.” 

 

“I’ll be waiting.” Dean sang, stepping backwards down the hallway to his room. 

 

Cas smiled at him and began running the sink. The second Dean was out of sight, Cas ran back to the freezer. He opened the package - knowing just how to without anyone being able to tell - the perks of being the son of very shady people. He choked at the contents. 

 

“I should have never looked.” He hissed, closing the box back up the way he undid it and placing it back in the freezer. “There is a severed arm in my boyfriend’s freezer. I just put a severed arm in my boyfriend’s freezer. _Everything is fine_.” 

 

“You coming?” Dean called. 

 

“Yeah!” Cas replied, getting his hands wet under the water and turning it off. 

 

Cas went down the hall and smiled at Dean like nothing was wrong. Dean patted the bed next to him and Cas jumped on it, and then quickly got under the covers. 

 

“You should give me back my phone. So I can put on music.” Cas said. 

 

“What kind of music?” Dean asked, taking Cas’s phone off the dresser and rolling back over to give it to him. 

 

Cas shrugged, scrolling through his music library. “Green Day?” 

 

“You want to…do your thing to Green Day?” Dean scoffed. 

 

“Green Day seems fitting for _cuddling_.” Don’t you think?” Cas smirked. 

 

“No. But I mean I like Green Day anyways.” Dean mused. 

 

“I have all the albums. So shuffling.” Cas grinned, putting it on and handing it back to Dean to set on the nightstand as ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’ began to play. 

 

Cas snuggled down into Dean’s side, but Dean lifted him up on top of him. Cas snuck over and grabbed the remote that controlled the lights in the room and shut them down to a very dim, almost dark setting. 

 

“Cas…?” Dean drawled. 

 

“Well if I’m spending the night here, might as well get comfy, right?” Cas replied. 

 

“Well you don’t need to sleep now.” Dean chuckled. 

 

“I’m not asking to sleep. I just think it’s romantic.” Cas replied. 

 

“Everything you do is.” Dean stated, kissing Cas’s neck. 

 

“I know.” Cas breathed, sighing into Dean’s shoulder. “I’m a good influence I hope.” 

 

“Sometimes.” Dean said, combing his hand through Cas’s hair. “You’re a pretty great boyfriend though.” 

 

“Really?” Cas asked. “Because I think I’m kind of shit.” 

 

“What?” Dean scoffed, sincerely sad. “Why would you think that? You’re probably one of the best boyfriend’s I’ve had.” 

 

“I just…it’s complicated.” Cas sighed, dreadfully ashamed of everything he’d ever done to Dean. But that didn’t stop him from still wanting to do it. He had Dean right here all concerned and willing, but he still wanted more. He just wanted to feel _cared for_ and not just appreciated.

 

“Cas, did you just wet yourself?” Dean sighed. 

 

“Oh.” Cas whimpered. “I’m sorry.” 

 

“It’s fine. You should have just used the bathroom when you needed to.” Dean shrugged, gently rolling Cas off him and turning the lights up again, thunder rolling in the distance. 

 

“I didn’t know I needed to.” Cas said quietly. “I’m so sorry.” 

 

“Cas, it’s fine.” Dean assured him, standing up and taking off his now wet pants. “I have a little brother. Don’t act like you’re the first person to pee on me.” 

 

Cas let out a small laugh. 

 

“Well come on, get up. I got some spare clothes of course.” Dean smiled, taking off his shirt and underwear as well and going into his closet. 

 

Cas’s heart swelled and he felt like maybe Dean actually wouldn’t be a dick. At least not for a little while. They’d never even had sex, but just lots of naked cuddles and showers and the occasional game of hide and seek and Dean was just completely comfortable being naked around him and thought nothing of it. And he knew Dean was confident, but confident and comfortable are sometimes mutually exclusive. Even if Cas was wrong, he still enjoyed the thought. 

 

He was knocked out of his head when a pair of sweatpants his his chest. “Thanks.” 

 

“You want a shirt?” Dean asked. “Or boxers or something?” 

 

“I’m fine.” Cas muttered, getting off the bed and starting to undress. 

 

Once they were back dressed and dry, Dean got a blanket from another closet down the hall and laid it out over the wet spot. 

 

“Like it never even happened.” Dean sang, jumping on the bed and smiling invitingly at Cas. 

 

Cas sighed and slowly walked back over. He hesitantly - but actually secretly excited - crawled back next to Dean and curled into his side. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. 

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Dean said, kissing his forehead and holding him close. 

 

“Am I going to have to remind you about the shower temperature?” Cas whimpered. 

 

“What? No!” Dean laughed. “You remember that?” 

 

Cas nodded. “It _is_ my get out of jail free card after all.” 

 

“Your get out of jail card is just being you.” Dean chuckled, brushing Cas’s chin with his thumb. “I don’t know if I could ever get mad at you. You’re too sweet.” 

 

“I’m really not.” Cas snorted. 

 

“Well, then you’ve sure got me fooled.” Dean said, rubbing Cas’s back with one of his hands. “And I’m not fooled easily.” 

 

“I’m good at pretending I’m not at ass.” Cas said. 

 

“You’re not. I know you’re not.” Dean shook his head. “And I know that because…because I love you.” 

 

Cas looked up at Dean and sighed in relief. “You do?” 

 

“Yeah. For the past month or so probably.” Dean mused. 

 

“I love you, too.” Cas grinned widely. “For a lot longer than a month.” 

 

“I could tell.” Dean whispered, kissing him. 

 

“How?” Cas asked. 

 

“You fall in love with enough people you know what it looks like.” Dean answered, Cas getting out of his balled up position and laying comfortably next to Dean. 

 

“Thanks for finally telling me, asshole.” Cas laughed. “Could’ve needed to hear that a month ago.” 

 

“I think you needed to hear that now.”  Dean replied. “You’re too insecure.” 

 

“I know.” Cas sighed. “But with good reason, I assure you.”

 

“And when you do tell me, I highly doubt it will change a thing.” Dean stated, kissing him again. 

 

“Can you turn the lights off again?” Cas asked. 

 

“Of course.” Dean answered, grabbing the remote and dimming them back to almost dark. “Better?” 

 

“Yeah.” Cas nodded as 'Jesus of Suburbia' began playing from his phone. 

* * *

Cas was actually starting to get mildly annoyed at Dean. He would always remind him to use the bathroom when they went out, began watching a movie, got in bed. And he knew that Dean was just doing it for his own good and to help him, but considering he didn’t really have a problem with incontinence, it was just getting old quickly - having to go and use the bathroom when reminded and it pretty much erased any opportunity for Cas to wet himself and get Dean to coddle him. But Dean was happy for Cas, seemingly having more control over himself this way. 

 

But right now, Cas had the opportunity and he was going to take it. Dean was taking Cas on a weekend getaway to the country, but not even 5 miles out of the driveway, they were stuck in a traffic jam. An accident had closed off 2 of the 4 lanes going into LA and there was no way they could turn around. They were inevitably stuck. 

 

“You alright over there?” Dean asked, looking over at Cas squirming in his seat. 

 

“Fine, yes.” Cas replied. 

 

“You have to use the bathroom, don’t you?”

 

“Yes.” Cas sighed. 

 

Dean unbuckled and moved things around in the backseat until he went back up front and handed Cas an empty cup from Burger King. “Here you go.” He grinned. 

 

“Oh.” Cas breathed, taking the cup from Dean’s hand, upset that his plans were foiled. “Thanks.” 

 

“Aren’t you glad I use the backseat as a trashcan on occasion?” Dean mused, Cas unzipping his pants. 

 

“Very.” Cas smiled beginning to pee into the cup, but teeming with disgruntlement inside.

 

After he finished, he handed Dean back the cup. Dean reached for the glove box and took out a napkin that was inside. Rolling down the window, he poured the contents of the cup into the road and then dried it out with the napkin, then threw it out the window. 

 

“You shouldn’t litter.” Cas stated as Dean tossed the cup back in the backseat. 

 

“You see a trashcan anywhere?” Dean countered. 

 

“It’s illegal, Dean.” Cas snapped. 

 

“So is being gay in Russia.” Dean teased. 

 

“We’re not in Russia.” Cas argued. 

 

“Thank God for that.” Dean snorted. 

 

“Russia’s very beautiful.” Cas frowned. 

 

“So are you.” Dean said, leaning over and gently kissing him. 

 

“I love you.” He whispered, pulling away and resting his nose against Cas’s. 

 

“I love you too.” Cas smiled, kissing Dean again. Dean began running his hand through Cas’s hair and Cas exhaled happily. And sincerely. His bitterness about not wetting himself and getting Dean’s affection having melted away quickly. Probably because Dean was giving him love and affection regardless. And the two of them sat there kissing and holding each other stuck in the middle of unmoving traffic, probably giving the cars next to them an interesting view. 

* * *

It was cold out up there. And the heating kind of sucked. Both of which played in Cas’s favor. He may not have gotten to wet himself earlier, but he was going to make sure it happened one way or another. He just wanted to feel loved some more. 

 

“Dean, do we have anything to eat?” He asked, standing in front of the fire place to warm up a bit. 

 

“Well we have a microwave and stove, and I brought a little bit of everything. You want soup, burritos, rice, bag of chips?” Dean replied. 

 

“Do you have pizza?” Cas asked. 

 

“No, I don’t. But I have tortillas, cheese, and tomato sauce. Ghetto pizza.” Dean snorted. 

 

“Okay, well what kind of rice? Brown or white?” Cas prodded. 

 

“White.” Dean answered. 

 

“Ooh that’s the kind I like.” Cas smiled. 

 

“You want anything else with it then?” Dean offered. 

 

“Do we have any meats?”

 

“We do.” Dean sang, walking over to one of the bags of food he brought. “We have…beef, ham, and bologna.” 

 

“Would it be too much for ham?” Cas asked. 

 

“For you, not at all. Besides, it sounds good.” Dean mused, taking out the package of pre-cooked ham and looking for the rice. 

 

“You sure?” Cas frowned. 

 

“Positive.” Dean smirked. “As long as you get your cute ass over here and give me a kiss first.” 

 

Cas walked over to him and laughed, grabbing his shirt and kissing him. “There.” 

 

“Rice with a side of ham, coming right up.” Dean grinned, filling a pot with water and putting it on the stove.

 

“Thank you.” Cas breathed, kissing him again, holding his face and letting the kiss linger for a bit more time. 

 

“What was that for?” Dean hummed. 

 

“For being really hard not to keep kissing once I start.” Cas smiled. 

 

“I think you’re like that with everyone.” Dean stated. 

 

“Not true. If it were, that would make for a very awkward game of Spin the Bottle.” Cas chuckled. 

 

“We should play that.” Dean mused. 

 

“With just the two of us?” Cas asked. 

 

“Um of course.” Dean laughed. 

 

“That would be pointless. We’d only be kissing each other.” Cas replied, the water beginning to boil. 

 

“Exactly.” Dean snickered.

 

“I don’t think we need an excuse to kiss each other.” Cas stated. “We do so much of it already.” 

 

“And is that such a bad thing?” Dean smiled. “Because I don’t think we do enough.” 

 

“Later we can fix that.” Dean smirked, Cas hugging him from behind and kissing his neck. 

 

“I love you.” Cas whispered. 

 

“I love you, too.” Dean replied, smiling and kissing Cas’s lips. “Why don’t you go watch TV or jack off or something while I make this?” 

 

“You’re gross.” Cas scoffed. 

 

“Hey, you signed up for it.” Dean sang. “Guys are gross.”

 

“I think I’m going to choose TV over getting myself off thank you very much.” Cas laughed. 

 

“I think most guys would choose the opposite.” Dean retorted. 

 

“Well I’m not. We’re going to eat soon anyways. I’m not eating after having my hands all over my dick.” Cas sneered. 

 

“It’s called washing.” Dean said. 

 

“I am not masturbating with you in the general vicinity, Dean.” Cas sighed. 

 

“How is it any different than using the bathroom though? I mean if you don’t want to eat after you’ve touched your dick…” Dean mused. 

 

“It’s just different.” Cas stated. 

 

“Why?” Dean asked. 

 

“Sexual things are…dirtier.” Cas answered. “I mean it’s sexual pleasure. Using the bathroom is a perfectly natural bodily function.” 

 

“I mean so is coming.” Dean countered. “Either you do it yourself or in your sleep.” 

 

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean. 

 

“See? You know I have a point.” Dean smiled. 

 

“Speaking of, I need to pee. Where even _are_ the bathrooms?” Cas asked, knowing full well where they actually were. And knowing there weren’t any in the cabin. “I didn’t see one in here…”

 

Dean sighed. “They’re the building behind the office.” 

 

“I don’t know where that is.” Cas said quietly. 

 

“Okay, give me…10 minutes for this to finish cooking and I’ll take you. Think you can manage?” Dean asked. 

 

Cas nodded with a reassuring smile. 

 

“Great.” Dean smiled. “Why don’t you go put something warmer on in the mean time? Baby it’s cold outside.” 

 

“Where are the suitcases?” Cas replied. 

 

“Jesus. Do you know where anything is?” Dean laughed. 

 

“No.” Cas answered bluntly. 

 

“Bedroom. Down the hall, first door on the left.” Dean stated. 

 

“Thank you.” Cas sang, walking down the hall. 

 

By the time the rice finished, Cas was waiting seemingly impatiently by the door. Dean took the rice off the burner and poured it into a strainer so the water left. “We can let that cool while we’re out.” 

 

Cas was awkwardly shifting all around.

 

“You ready?” Dean asked, putting his own coat on. 

 

“Definitely.” Cas nodded. 

 

“Great. Now remember how to get there.” He smiled, opening the door and stepping out into the nipping cold. 

 

Dean lead Cas down the barely visible path, passing by some more cabins. 

 

“We’re almost there.” He said, pointing to a sign hanging on a wall that said ‘Bathrooms’ and had an arrow pointing ahead. 

 

“I don’t think it matters anymore.” Cas whispered, stopping and standing where he was. 

 

Dean looked at him in confusion but then noticed his pants slowly darkening and the snow under his feet getting soft and dampening. He sighed empathetically. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Cas groaned. 

 

“No, stop it.” Dean frowned. “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not something you can help.” 

 

Cas shook his head and Dean walked up and hugged him, kissing his cheek. “It’s alright. Besides, I’m used to it now.” 

 

“I’m sorry you are.” Cas whispered. 

 

“Cas don’t be.” Dean sighed, nestling his hand in Cas’s hair. 

 

“I need a shower.” Cas muttered. 

 

“Showers are by the bathrooms. And you might as well see where they are anyways.” Dean replied. 

 

Cas nodded. “Okay.” 

 

“Why don’t I drop you off there and I’ll come back with some clean clothes?” Dean smiled. 

 

“Okay.” Cas repeated. 

 

“Awesome.” Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and kept taking him down the path towards the bathrooms and showers. “You know how to work a shower right?” 

 

“Yes, Dean. I do.” Cas chuckled. 

 

“Alright. Be right back.” Dean stated, softly kissing Cas. “À bientôt.” 

 

“À bientôt.” Cas replied, his hand slipping away from Dean’s as he turned around. 

 

Cas entered the rooms and saw stalls of showers laid out. Of course none with any form of privacy. Gross. He hated not having privacy. But only 2 other people were in there. He tried to get the stall furthest from both of them but it was covered in grime and he was not about to get in a grimy shower. The cleanest one was across from someone else, but at least it wasn’t slimy. Or at least as much. 

 

He got undressed and then turned on the water and then shrieked as it hit him. “Sorry. Cold.” He said awkwardly. 

 

Once no one was looking, he pushed his wet clothes under the water and washed them a little, waiting for it to warm up. It took a while to do so. But finally it was lukewarm and Cas could at least bear it. Dean returned just then though with clean clothes. 

 

“Cas?” He called. 

 

“Over here!” Cas replied. 

 

Dean located Cas’s shower stall and began taking his own clothes off. 

 

“You’re getting in here with me?” Cas asked. 

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Dean mused, stepping out of his pants. 

 

“I mean we’re in public.” Cas stated. 

 

“We are. And everyone in here’s naked anyways. Besides, I like showering with you.” Dean smiled. 

 

“I like showering with you, too.” Cas laughed. Dean took off the last of his clothes and stepped in behind him. He immediately wrapped his arms around Cas’s stomach and hugged his back against his chest. 

 

“I love you so much.” He whispered, playfully biting Cas’s ear. 

 

Cas quietly giggled and moved his head away from Dean’s mouth. “You know I hate when you do that.” 

 

“Why are you smiling then?” Dean asked, letting go of Cas to pick up the shampoo, conditioner, and bar of soap on the shelf in the shower, but then went back to holding him. 

 

“Because I love you so much, too.” Cas answered, letting Dean squeeze some shampoo in his hand and beginning massaging it into his hair. 

 

“Mostly because you like when I wash your hair, right?” Dean replied, scrubbing and lathering it all around Cas’s dark hair. 

 

“Yeah you’re probably right.” Cas mused.

 

But it was then Cas realized something. This time, Dean wasn’t sitting there trying to make Cas feel better and not guilty. He was just trying to make him happy. He was just acting like it never happened, while just trying to make him feel nice. 

 

Then Cas felt so guilty. Because Dean loved him. A lot. And he could tell. In every look Dean gave him, every touch felt, every word spoken, Dean loved him. And genuinely did. And Cas was just manipulating him for his own personal gain. And that was so shitty of him. 

 

“Hey! No turning tricks in the showers!” The man across from them yelled. 

 

“I’m not turning tricks!” Cas shouted, instantly angry. “He’s my boyfriend. And we aren’t doing anything wrong. So fuck off!” 

 

“Where did that come from?” Dean asked, halfway amused. 

 

“The part of me that takes no one’s shit.” Cas replied. 

 

“I like that part.” Dean mused. 

 

“Aren’t doing nothing wrong?” The other man sneered. “You’re all feeling each other up in a public shower. That’s fucking gross!” 

 

“Well I bet if it were a guy and a woman fucking instead of two men just washing each other up you wouldn’t have a problem with it. You’d all probably be sitting there watching and sporting giant boners.” Cas growled. 

 

“You aren’t just washing each other up. And even if you were, that’s fucking gay-“

 

“We’re fucking gay!” Cas scoffed. “Thanks for pointing that out.” 

 

“Well I would not call hugging and kissing each other just washing.” He snarled. 

 

“Because god forbid two people who love each other kiss!” Cas exclaimed. 

 

“Cas, why don’t you just be quiet now and wash out your hair?” Dean sighed. 

 

“No.” Cas stated firmly. 

 

“Alrighty then.” Dean huffed. 

 

“Well if you two are just gonna flirt and make out and hump each other in the shower, then why the fuck are you in the men’s room. Because you two aren’t men - you’re just a bunch of whiny faggots.” 

 

“Fuck you!” Cas yelled running up to him and punching him. 

 

“Cas!” Dean cried, running over to him and slipping, but falling on top of him and sending them both crashing to the ground. Dean stood up as soon as he could, protecting Cas from the offending man before him. “Leave him alone.” 

 

“Lil bitch hit me, lil bitch gotta pay.” He growled, trying to push back Dean. 

 

“Don’t you fucking dare lay a finger on him.” Dean growled. 

 

“Dean….” Cas sighed, standing up but groaning. “Fuck I sprained my ankle.” 

 

“Is no one else going to say anything?” Dean yelled loudly into the showers. “Is everyone just going to sit here and let this asshole judge us and discriminate against us? Are you all scared or assholes as well?” 

 

Dean heard murmuring in the back of the showers then someone began walking slowly down the open space to where the first man was standing. 

 

“Why don’t you leave them alone, before I make you?” He growled. His stature was bigger than all three of them, he was visibly muscular and had lots of scars riddling his chest, legs, face and arms. Definitely not someone to fuck with. 

 

The man angry with Dean and Cas stepped away from them. 

 

“Cas, grab your clothes and go to the bathroom and get dressed.” Dean ordered, pushing past the two men, grabbing his clothes, and following Cas out the door. 

* * *

 

“I don’t feel like eating anymore.” Cas mumbled, walking back into the cabin and taking his coat off and throwing it on the couch. 

 

“Cas.” Dean breathed, reaching out for his shoulder. 

 

“I overreacted.” Cas sighed, Dean spinning him around. 

 

“You did.” Dean nodded. “But we all do sometimes.” 

 

“I fucked up.” Cas whimpered. 

 

“Not really. You just pissed off a douchebag.” Dean said. 

 

“What kind of person in their right mind picks a fight in a shower room while both contenders are naked and slippery?” Cas exclaimed. 

 

“You.” Dean smiled, hugging Cas. Cas immediately clung onto the back of Dean’s shirt and inhaled deeply. “Do you want to go lay down? _Cuddle_?” 

 

“No.” Cas shook his head. 

 

“Yes you do.” Dean whispered. “You always do.” 

 

“No. I can’t.”

 

“Well, you’re going.” Dean snorted, picking Cas up in his arms and grunting with his weight, carrying him into the bedroom. Gently, he set Cas down on top of the comforter and sat down next to him. 

 

Cas sat up and just kept shaking his head and whimpering. 

 

“Cas…” Dean groaned, grabbing Cas’s face and holding it in his hands. “It’s not a big deal.” 

 

Cas broke down sobbing and Dean pulled him into his chest. Cas tried to hold off from hugging him, but within moments his arms were snug around Dean’s torso. “It’s not that.” 

 

“What?” Dean replied. 

 

“I’ve been a horrible boyfriend.” Cas choked. 

 

“What?” Dean repeated. 

 

“I don’t deserve to be with someone as good as you.” Cas mumbled. 

 

“Cas, you’re amazing to me. Why would you be a horrible boyfriend?” Dean asked. 

 

“I’ve been using you, lying to you. Manipulating you and taking advantage of you. And I won’t even sleep with you. I just sit here trying to control you and you get nothing from it!” Cas cried. 

 

“I know.” Dean said quietly. 

 

“Wh…” Cas whimpered. 

 

“I know. I knew you were lying and that your organ deformities were complete bullshit. I knew you were faking having an incontinence problem just so I’d…I don’t know - take care of you?” Dean answered. 

 

“But how?” Cas asked, pulling back. 

 

“Well for one, my mom’s a nurse. If your organs weren’t functioning right or at a lower rate, you’d be all hooked up to machines. You’d be at the doctor’s all the time, on every kind of medication, and I’ve never even seen you take an Excedrin.” Dean explained. “And your brother told me.” 

 

“My brother?” Cas breathed. 

 

“Gabriel, right?” Dean asked. 

 

Cas nodded slowly, still crying. 

 

“Turns out he was scoping me out to make sure I wasn’t shady, but I saw him and chased him down. Slow runner.” Dean chuckled. “But then I mentioned your disability and he apparently had no clue about it. And when I told him he immediately said _God that is so Castiel. Mooching off others just so he can feel appreciated. Asshole._ and yeah. I knew from kind of the beginning.”

 

“I’m so sorry!” Cas sobbed, falling back into Dean’s chest. “I’m so, so sorry, Dean!” 

 

“I know you are.” Dean replied softly, hugging Cas tightly.

 

“Please forgive me!” Cas begged. 

 

“I forgave you the second I found out.” Dean stated. 

 

“I promise that was the only part that was fake. I love you I do!” Cas continued. 

 

“I know you do. You don’t need to tell me that for me to know.” Dean whispered, resting his chin on Cas’s forehead. "And don't ever think that you're bad for not having sex. You're perfect." 

 

“I’m so sorry.” Cas repeated, crying into Dean’s chest. 

* * *

 

Cas spent most of the night just crying, letting Dean hold him and soothe him. _Actually comforting him._ And all of this, actually feeling loved at his worst, made all the kind actions he got when he wet himself seem like nothing. Because nothing could compare to the feeling of someone actually caring about you and that you can feel it. 

 

As dawn approached, Cas had found himself in Dean’s lap, staring up at the ceiling. Dean was just running his hand through his soft hair and had been for the past hour. 

 

“You ready to get up?” He asked quietly. 

 

“Okay.” Cas whispered. He felt so weak and tiny. 

 

“Up you go.” Dean breathed, helping Cas sit up. “I love you.” 

 

Cas forced a smile at him. “I love you, too.” 

 

Dean lightly kissed Cas’s forehead. 

 

“Do you still want to be with me?” Cas asked. 

 

“Of course.” Dean answered. “I just have one request.” 

 

“Anything.”

 

“Don’t put any more severed limbs in my freezer.” Dean stated. 

 

“Oh my God.” Cas whimpered. 

 

“For better or for worse, right?” Dean laughed, smiling at Cas sitting completely shocked on the bed in front of him. 

 

And to most people, Castiel was nothing more than an insignificant human being, living his life day to day. But for Dean, well he was his world. And he knew it. And that made him happier than any words could. He finally felt truly loved with Dean. 


End file.
